Sunday, 12 October 2014

Accepting Human Imperfection & Hypocrisy

If I have to think of one word that fits all humans accurately, then I would say it is 'imperfect'. If I have to think more, pick another word, then I would pick 'hypocrite'. Unfortunately, I can't think of word with positive meaning or even connotation - to fit accurately across all. Not every one is kind / friendly / jovial / loving / selfless / giver ... I am sure I have put the point across w.r.t. positive connotation words fitting all humans...they can't!

Few weeks ago - I wrote a short poem to describe some of my thoughts on human imperfection. The reason I am writing again on the subject is because I don't think this idea has been dealt with in depth that it demands. Also, I now have another angle to discuss - hypocrisy added with imperfection...this makes us, humans, quite the special one!

In any interaction between two humans - both of these aspects, imperfection & hypocrisy, play their respective roles. It is important to note here that these aspects vary from person to person and interaction to interaction. Person X, when interacting with Person Y could display an entirely different combination of imperfection & hypocrisy, than when interacting with Person Z.

There is an added complication - who decides what is perfect? Whose idea of perfection is perfect and thus should become the benchmark?

We all create our own definitions, basis our roots, our upbringing, our social network, our own outlook, our own beliefs and our own idea of perfection...because of this, it is hardly possible to find people fitting in our mould of perfection, perfectly!

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone to have me say that no human is perfect and also, all humans have some level of hypocrisy in-built! Actually, the ones who would believe they are perfect, would be the ones to have highest level of hypocrisy as well...

Let's bring back Persons X & Y, within their interactions we can see hypocrisy at play. Let's say that Person X does not like Person Y's religious bent of mind - going to temples, keeping fasts...however, Person X is superstitious enough to still go to the temple on one particular day of the week - just because he's been asked to go by an astrologer. If Person X is okay to go to the temple (for what ever reason - obviously not backed by any reason or logic) - then there shouldn't be any problem with Person Y's faith & interest in religion.

Fact of the matter is - we are not only hypocrite with things we claim about ourselves, but also about what we allow others to do in front of us. Hypocrisy can be at play in a slightly different manner too - Person X doesn't like Person Y going to the temples, but, is okay with Person Z doing the same. This could happen between boss & team (favouritism does happen in offices), this could happen between parents & their more than 1 children, this could happen between friends...which ever interaction we can think of - I am confident that selective hypocrisy plays some role in that interaction.

In my opinion accepting both, imperfection & hypocrisy within ourselves - is the first step towards better-understanding our interactions with others. Without this acceptance, we can never understand how we possibly could be wrong, how the other person is not all that we can improve on things as they stand today. Without this - we will either lose company of good friends, good team members or - lose their respect for us.

'Perfect-for-each-other' people will not necessarily make perfect relationships...however, imperfect people who are willing to work on their relationships, will manage a perfect one!

The good part of both - imperfection & hypocrisy, is that they allow for a plenty of room for improvement...we just need to be open to accept, change & improve.

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