Wednesday 6 November 2013

Legend announces retirement - world becomes melodramatic

There is something weirdly unreal about farewells - everything is sugarcoated and every emotion is over the top. Most of the people say the normal stuff - great person, learnt a lot from him / her, a fair boss etc. - but in my observation, the senior the person, the more dramatic farewell speeches get. Farewell speeches have a tendency to almost become melodramatic if the person moving out is retiring (instead of moving on to something else). This person is talked of with such fondness and in such awe - at times it is difficult to believe if all of it is about same person.

The above is not only true for corporate circles - rather a lot of 'over the top' send off words come for sporting legends. The recent most sporting-legend-retiring news is of Sachin Tendulkar's retirement from Test Cricket. The fact that Sachin announced his retirement well in time, than making an abrupt decision, threw this cricket crazy country go into an over-drive of comments and compliments for this legend on his life and career.

Showering this great cricketer with praise is not enough - showering him with compliments doesn't even begin to do justice with his talent and achievements. Showering him with emotional bits, well - I can accept that too - after all Sachin has ruled cricket-fans' hearts for more than two decades. 

With his retirement announcement, world seems to have gone out of control. There are statements of people, from all walks of life, who hold stature enough to be heard / written about - all are talking about end of an era, how cricket won't be the same without Sachin and how important his contributions have been to cricket as a sport and for India as a cricket-loving country. He will definitely be talked of and referred to for a long time. But, honestly, I don't think he will be missed as much as people are making it seem like.

People fail to see that Sachin has been out of both shorter forms of the sport - ODIs and T20s. He announced his retirement from ODIs last December and hasn't played a single international T20, representing India. Indian team is not only winning ODIs without Sachin, but is ranked number one team in the world at the moment. Indian team is not only winning ODIs, but is winning in style! 

The bit of "Sachin will be missed" - doesn't exist if the team does well without him. To say that he will be missed means his absence will be felt, which actually means that the youngsters taking his spot can't do justice to the spot. To say that Sachin will be missed is not so much out of love for him, but out of sheer under confidence in youngsters who are trying their best to fill in his shoes.

Sachin's shoes are enormously large to step into - may just be out of normal human's ability to fill. But the world going crazy making statements that he is leaving a void that can't be filled is ridiculous. Is it really that difficult to simply congratulate him on his career and wish him the best for ensure youngsters have enough to know of him, in order to learn from him - even when he's no longer actively involved.

It has been a pleasure watching Sachin Tendulkar play cricket, it has been a privilege really. When to retire is something no one can know better than Sachin himself - and if he has decided that time has come...then I can only thank him for everything he's given to this sport. I sincerely wish he has as good a life post retirement as he has had while playing.

Tuesday 29 October 2013

Faith: My Alternate Power Source

Yes, I believe in God! There are no answers to Calvin's questions and I would be lying if I said I haven't had similar questions on occasions. But, I do believe in God.

I have grown up in a God-believing family, where various actions were part of regular life - pray, go to the temple and also have fear of God. I was made to understand concept of truth being God's path, how good always triumphs over bad - of how God sees everything and about God's omnipresence.

By mid-teens, I am not sure if I started believing in myself as a non-believer, but I definitely started doubting my understanding of God - as I was made to believe growing up. I started questioning the general approach of showing faith in God. I couldn't do both - accept the concept of 'omnipresence' and believe there was something special about visiting temples. I couldn't accept I needed an intermediary (a.k.a Pundit) to make God see & hear me. This was the time when almost all of man's collective actions towards God started to seem either commercial or superficial in nature - but definitely not out of love for God.

I owe it to my parents for allowing me to find my own path to God. They realised I wasn't happy doing / following religious acts. Neither of them pushed me to follow a path just because it had been part of our family's traditional values. I think they could see that I was generally against the idea of showing my faith in a particular manner than question God's presence or even significance.

The freedom I got from my parents helped me explore my own path and find my answers. When things were going my way, I didn't even care to think about God - but the moment there was a slight hiccup, I couldn't help but reach out to God for help. This was the first sign for me that I believed - I accepted that I am not in control of everything that happens to me and that, from time to time, I need a hand to guide me. Obviously, I have never sensed an actual 'hand' that helped and guided me. Something did, inexplicably so.

The various situations where at first I didn't know what to do, didn't believe if I will manage to prevail / survive...asking for help, keeping faith in God helped. These situations taught me one of the most important lessons about God - much like Terminator's alternate power source, God is the alternate power source for me. Anytime I doubt myself, worry about my own ability and feel depleted fighting my battles...all that I need to do it reach out to God. This alternate power may not necessarily be the power to prevail over all hurdles or win every battle, but it definitely helps in survival. It is the power to prevail over pain, disappointment and loss.

As I have understood my faith in God, I am sure, each person needs to understand his / her own concept of God - whether they believe in God or not and why. There isn't a common path that all can follow to reach and understand God. For me, God is a power source and a guiding hand - I am sure for others God could be something else entirely, more meaningful or even less.

It is not based on any religion, it is not based on any written text or spoken word - it is not about anyone or anything else...but it is about how an individual looks at God and what kind of a relationship that individual wants to have with God. In my view - the clearer the understanding, the stronger the faith - the better is the individual's relationship with God! Faith, after all, comes from within and at least in my case, is about my inner strength.

Thursday 24 October 2013

Shift in Moral Values

Generally understood as socially accepted and ethical principles that govern the day to day living of life, moral values are losing their significance at a rather fast pace. This loss is purely of values that existed in past - it is not as if people are becoming immoral, rather the change is happening in social acceptance and understanding of what's ethical now.

There is rigidity in trying to live as society wants you to. After some time, resistance to rigidity and control become strong enough to make the society realise that a change is in order. This change is towards acceptance of new ideas, new understandings and new definitions of good / bad...ethical / unethical.

Back in the 80s, I was in IV / V standard, I remember there used to be 60 minutes (in a week) dedicated to moral studies. A teacher used to come, make one of the students to read stories from her book and in the end - try and explain the moral of the story. When I look back at this concept of 'moral studies' - the only rationale that comes to my mind is society's way to feed young minds with possible actions that were pre-approved by society.

Back in the day, probably moral studies were needed and even successful in imparting some moral sense in the young. Those were the days when kids had little to absolutely no exposure outside of school and home. That era can perfectly be described as "ignorance is bliss" - lack of exposure ensured young minds' ignorance towards ideas other than the ones fed into and parents & teachers were living a blissful life.

With each generation changing, concepts of morality and ethical have evolved. The most interesting bit is - morals and ethics are not common across any one generation now. In actuality, the acceptance of ethics and morals is now with individuals. Since I am part of this individual-based society, I am tilted in favour of how things happen now than they used to earlier. I am not saying things were getting done wrong, just that they may not be the correct actions in today's scenario.

The pressure has now shifted from society to an individual really - to live by some code. It is no longer considered a societal role to dictate morals and pass on values. Society still does that, parents and teachers still try and help, there are friends who contribute and then there is inner-voice as well - but onus entirely lies with the individual to define his / her own moral values.

Does the individualism of moral values pose a threat to society at large, well - no! All that it does is help usher in change - change the way actions are judged...change in the concept of society itself. And...change is always good!

Wednesday 23 October 2013

Love Poem

You do more than I ask
You think ahead, every time
You make it easier for me
You are my strength, my prime

You help me see reason
You make me face reality & still smile 
You are the centre of my universe
You have been, for a while

You want the best for me
You definitely deserve the best as well
You may try and show you are strong, but
You do get hurt, I can tell

You can rely on me - now & forever
You can trust me to be there
You can ask me to prove it - anytime
You can throw me a dare

You may get angry on my short-comings
You may be disappointed with my attitude
You will never be without me, unless
You give me the boot

You may not see me much improved, but,
You can, hopefully, see that I am trying to
You can, hopefully, see how much I care
You know, hopefully, how much I love you

Midlife Crisis or Identity Crisis?

Ageing is never easy - there are aspects, beyond just the physical, that make this process a painful one. I had completed two of six items on the list above, before I turned 32. Honestly, I have asked myself if I have hit some form of midlife crisis - more than once! 

There have been questions in my mind - who I really am / what am I doing / what have I achieved / who are my friends...I have felt almost incomplete, not knowing convincing answers to these questions. Have I allowed otherwise dormant insecurities to become active, all of a sudden, or if there is actually a deep-rooted issue that I am unable to put my finger on?

There is a growing impatience within me, along with an inexplicably strong urge to do more than just follow home-work-home routine. I am not sure if the impatience and general feeling of incompleteness are a form of midlife crisis or if they are signs of a bigger problem - identity crisis.

Not often I allow myself to get cornered with my own negative thoughts. Unfortunately, the thoughts running through my mind aren't negative really - because almost all are facts. Born in middle-class family, let's say with an above average IQ, but average to no talents, living life without a dream or obsession...worse of all, not sure if the direction I am walking in is the direction I want to head towards!

A friend tells me I am not alone, most would be in similar boat - some may not realise this and others may be worse of for their own reasons and balance-checks. Instead of making me feel any better - this pushes me back right into the crowd and eventually makes me identity-less.

I believe that this blog's revival has happened just at the right time. Even if minutely, it has allowed me to break away from the routine. Writing has given me something else to look forward to - something else to think about - something else to try - something else to identify myself with.

The questions are still there, they are still unanswered, they are still troublesome - but the fact that I can write and share, reduces burden of these questions. Hopefully, I will manage to get some insights into my own self that will help me understand my life and its direction better.

Saturday 19 October 2013

Inequality or Discrimination - Which is the bigger evil?

My wife's working on a project to get people to acknowledge existence of inequalities. I am not even sure if acknowledgement is just the first step of this project or if that is the complete objective. While discussing certain potential ideas, we covered various inequalities that are obvious parts of our lives - gender, income, social, colour and then few that would be sub-sets of these.

Sometime around mid-90s, when I was a just teenager, dad and I were driving past a slum and dad asked me how I felt when I saw people living in slum area - kids who had no comforts compared to what I had. My instantaneous reaction was a bit arrogant, probably, and I said - "I don't care looking at people who have less, I focus on people who have more". My thoughts haven't changed much on this issue - just that I now know how privileged I have been and continue to be.

Another inequality is of gender - men & women are different. I think there is a definite natural rule in creating this difference - women can give can't! Nature has given men & women different strengths, thus at a basic level - we shouldn't begin to say that all are equal. Neither are all equal, nor are all supposed to be equal!

For me inequalities are quite natural, it is the way things are supposed to be. It exists in humans, flora & fauna, food items - inequality is a way to let this world function. The way to look at this is - if there were no carnivorous animals, there won't be any grass available.

Acknowledging inequalities is nothing more than accepting truths of our environment - something as basic as human's need for oxygen to survive. Nature / God / some power beyond human understanding (yet) - decided this is how humans will be - they will need oxygen, they will have different capabilities, different colours...they will be different...they will not be equal

The issue is not of inequalities - but of discrimination. People won't have a problem if skin colour, physical ability or gender were not considered important, when these factors aren't important. Inequality will then be nothing more than a difference in taste - I like Indian beer and my wife prefers German beer!

Discrimination on any basis is unjustifiable - but that has become our second nature. These days are about reverse discrimination - certain groups that were discriminated against - have now been provided special rights in the effect discriminating against people of other groups.

Until and unless our society, in general, doesn't accept inequalities as nature's way and reduce discriminating ways of functioning -  merely acknowledging existence of inequalities won't make people take notice of injustice in their own actions. Thus - it won't have any reaction and there won't be any corrective thought-process.

Life of Choice!

"You always have a choice" - said my Economics professor. He continued, "it is your choice to live, to breathe, to love, to work...every step you take is out of a choice you make." I brushed this statement aside - considering it an eccentric man's view on life.

It wasn't a simple concept to comprehend - a lot of us, in the classroom, questioned the possibility of a person being in control all the time. Collective brashness, along with arrogance-due-to-ignorance - the group failed to distinguish between choices and wishes. It didn't occur to us that a choice is made between options available - whereas we may wish for the improbable as well...something all of us have learnt since. 

Over time, as I experienced life - I derived my own meaning for professor's words "You always have a choice". I think it is really quite basic, it is the starting point: every situation has at least two possible actions - either something is done about that situation or nothing is done about it! Which option to pick is our choice...

Our minds are tuned to ignore the latter choice all together. We are so caught up with the former that we can't even compare outcome of following the "do nothing" choice, with worry of "what to do". We tend to forget that we actually chose to do something about the situation facing us, because we wouldn't be better off doing nothing. The statement that's heard quite often - "I have no choice", truly means, I have no better options than the one I have decided to take up. 

Even though I don't remember much of economics, but this life lesson has remained with me ever since. For me, this is not merely a thought - it is a life philosophy. If understood and followed, one begins to look at things objectively, looks within before seeking answers outside, takes fewer knee-jerk decisions and becomes self assured as the feeling of helplessness vanishes.

Monday 7 October 2013

Questions I often ask myself...

Am I bound by this society, or I just like to think so?
Am I really trying to break free, or I just like to think so?

Am I one of the better ones, or I just like to think so?
Am I even different from the rest, or I just like to think so?

Am I on the right track, or I just like to think so?
Am I making the right decisions, or I just like to think so?

Am I capable to deliver what I have promised, or I just like to think so?
Am I seeing things clearly, or I just like to think so?

Am I providing more than taking, or I just like to think so?
Am I contributing...making a difference, or I just like to think so?

Am I doing everything I can, or I just like to think so?
Am I giving my best, or I just like to think so?

Am I still at the centre of her life, or I just like to think so?
Am I still the one for the one for me, or I just like to think so?

Am I important to people around me, or I just like to think so?
Am I going to be thought of with fondness, or I just like to think so?

Tuesday 1 October 2013

100 posts completed :)

I just realised that the previous post I wrote was my 100th and that is something I definitely feel glad about - especially because the number of stop-restart-stop-restart cycles my blogging has seen.

It has never really been lack-of-ideas as much as not-enough-motivation-to-write! Hopefully the motivation that I have had (to write) in last two months, continues now.

I will keep this one short - just wanted to share my happiness on completing some sort of self-appointed milestone...Cheers!

Monday 30 September 2013

India is In...Indians are Out!

Every time I think of checking my cynicism towards India in general...every time I tell myself that there are improvements that I need to acknowledge...every single time I am let down. I am beginning to better understand that my negativity is not directed towards India as as much as Indians. The general lack of civility and increasing apathy are making us a community of hollow individuals. Unfortunately, it is no longer a matter of my expectations not being met or I am being let down - the problem is much deeper...every single time India is disappointed & let down by Indians! 

The recent most incident happened yesterday (Sunday - 29th Sept '13) at the least expected place - Siri Fort Auditorium. I must clarify here - before I write more about last evening – the entire (mis)management was done by an event management company (Rock Castle - their website isn't worth mentioning here) and Siri Fort auditorium had no role in it.

S.F. Auditorium is Delhi's most reputed auditoriums, which also implies some of best events happen here. Since yesterday's event was a ticketed event (fusion musical performance) and judging by ticket prices, most of the people there should have been discerning music lovers. All in all, it promised to be an evening high on energy and entertainment. Unfortunately, problems started right at the entrance gate.

Performance was scheduled to start at 1800hrs and people had started queuing up at around 1700hrs - since there were no seat numbers provided, just blocks - Premier / Gold / Silver. With hundreds in the queue, more joining in every minute - people were not sure why the iron gates hadn't opened and it was already 1740hrs. The eagerly-awaiting-and-now-getting-impatient-audience couldn't have imagined that this was just the beginning of an evening of standing and waiting in queues.

After standing in another queue, this time at the door of the auditorium building (not the main auditorium still) and exchanging heated words with the security staff, people managed to almost break through to enter the building (largely thanks to handful of hot-heads heading the queue). Up until this moment, there was still a concept of queue and some sort of decorum was being maintained.

Beyond this, all of us were subjected to some more ridicule...we had another queue to stand in - this time just outside the main auditorium. Time was already beyond 1800hrs and none of audience members were allowed to even enter the auditorium's sitting area, one can forget about the performances to start on time. The elderly, the differently abled and the rest - all were treated equally. No one could go inside to sir and had to wait, no one was given any reason for this decision.

So far, I was disappointed with one part of Indians - the manager Indian, who fucked up this otherwise reputed auditorium and took away the pleasure of a musical performance by giving the audience such a horrible start to their evening. But - the things that followed not only disappointed me more, but made my cynicism stronger.

Since there were no seat numbers mentioned on tickets, it was a first come first sit arrangement. Had the management been better, people were informed of the reasons for such delay, some level of humanity was shown towards the elderly and differently abled - things would have been better...but the fact is still that the otherwise considered "discerning audience", turned into a rowdy crowd. Queue became non-existent just as soon as the door opened, and the no-brainer started to happen. People started pushing and shoving, trying to get ahead of as many as they could. That was the end of my trying to lower my cynicism.

I can accept all of this if it was some crazy experiment run by a much milder version of The Dark Knight's Joker. I quote the Joker: "Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos" and "Madness, as you know, is a lot like gravity, all it takes is a little push." In this instance, push came from the event management company - the way this entire episode unfolded - it was nothing less than chaos and people did turn into a mad bunch. Joker - 1; People - 0!

India may be the 'in' thing on the world map, but I am not sure if Indians deserve to my opinion, then are out!

Saturday 28 September 2013


Those were the days, those were the times...
telling myself - "they were the best"

Taking pride in hurdles crossed...
At times, cursing myself for blunders done

Constantly thinking about the past...
constantly comparing my today with my yesterday

Trying to relive life already lived...
forgetting life I am living

Not realising - when 'tomorrow' becomes 'today'...
the not-so-good 'today' would seem better

Time doesn't stand still, it is I who is stuck...
Am I lost...or just asleep still

I need to get up, open my eyes and realise...
Life is not in 'back then', it is right is 'now'

Friday 27 September 2013

Leave me alone!

Rigid about people I want in my life, rigid about managing social relationships my way, rigid about following societal norms as I see fit, rigid about not pretending, rigid about not caring (if I genuinely don't), rigid about living life as I think is best for me!

I have been given an earful by many about how I deal with society in general...I have had to sit through sermon-like monologues, explaining why society is important and why I can not decide to not march along with it. When the all this talk seem to have no impact on me, I am subjected to the following: "treat this society as a network and networking helps - not just in personal life, but also professional"...I haven't understood this and don't think I would anytime anyway!

I don't look in the mirror and see a rebel or a crusader - I have nothing against the society per se, I don't wake up every morning and plan to take down 'the man' - I don't have a secret parallel life - spent planning a societal overhaul (though this may not be such a bad idea)....all that I have against society is its wish to burden me with its expectations to do what it thinks is best.

There are small things, in a bigger picture sense - inconsequential polite to an inconsiderate neighbour, just because he's elder (not elderly)...well, I can't see any improvement my pretended politeness has had in his behaviour...or attend my dad's boss' son's wedding / attend my friend's daughter's first birthday party (really now!)...I could do all that, if I wanted to - but honestly, I don't! I can't figure out what my presence brings to any such event, since I am sure it doesn't matter if I am there or not (for the event to take place)  - thus, as I see, there's no point for me to be there.

Unfortunately, our first life lessons are on societal norms and not on how to be civil. We are taught what ought to be done to keep the society appeased than think of making it better. It is ingrained in us that we, as individuals, are merely a speck in the universe and it is the society that gives us identity and is proof of our existence. Isn't that actually an exact opposite - it is the individual that gives society its identity and thus society exists because of the individuals.

I look around and see people moving around as horses run - with blinders strapped on...with society their jockey, dictating every move they make...the pace with which they move, the direction they move in and finally, when & where the race ends. I can't be apologetic for wanting more from my life, for knowing more can be done and achieved...even if that means I am branded unsocial! I have observed that the more social I try to get, the more pretentious I become. I am not a good actor - nor some one who can mask his feelings, especially when I am feeling disgusted!

I am and will be fine - left alone and allowed to be me, with people I care for and the 'limited' number of people who, still do and would continue to, care for me...

Wednesday 25 September 2013

Can I...Will I...Can We...Will We?

Can God be considered as one
Can God be considered as a guiding star
Will we make an effort to become better
Will we ever raise the bar

Can free will be used for good of others
Can 'I' ever come after 'us'
Will love only be for myself
Will ego drown all of us

Can this life be lived freely
Can we ever walk without fear
Will we ever become tolerant
Will this world stop and wipe the tear

Can people manage to see eye to eye
Can people live together and become friends
Will neighbours stop fighting, once & forever
Will this world ever become a happy mix of all hues & blends

Can injustice cease to exist
Can crime ever become dust
Will consciousness awaken and shine
Will we police ourselves first

Can peace & harmony get a chance
Can love be more than just a word
Will people realise there is more than hatred
Will people think on their own, leave behind the herd

Can one man make a difference
Can one man ever start a revolution
Will I get up and say enough is enough
Will I ever stop procrastination

Can this thought ever become something more
Can this dream ever come true
Will I be the only one to think & dream
Will I also be joined by you

Can two become thousands
Can thousands percolate end to end and plea
Will then this world get another chance
Will then this world survive finally

I am a Blackberry guy

I was a simple mobile user - owned the erstwhile popular mobiles Nokia 3310 (used it for about 3 years) and Nokia 6230 (used it for 6+ years)...until Nokia decided to either shell out poor quality or supremely expensive models. During those days, there was a general perception that Blackberry was a business phone - meaning: expensive, need based and exclusive!

Towards the end of last decade, Blackberry did put a new thought in motion - their communication, their new models (Curve) - all directed potential customers to understand that Blackberry handsets were more about than just business / serious work. It was in Feb 2011, that I bought my first smartphone, my first business phone, my first QWERTY phone - my Blackberry! Still using the same handset - have a thing against changing frequently...A lot has changed in the Indian smartphone market since!

Not just world leaders - iPhone & Samsung that have suddenly become bigger than they were earlier, but Nokia (powered by MS Windows) has had a new lease of life. Craze for smartphones became such that it was only a matter of time for home-grown brands to come up...and we now have Micromax, Karbonn as strong leadership contenders in the Indian smartphone arena. The interesting bit in all of this is - about 90% of Indian smartphones are running on Android!

Blackberry, during all this while, was sitting pretty - trying to live on existing customer-base, enjoying the corporate deals it had...well, it made one and the costliest mistake - ignored its customers' changing tastes & requirements! It is something similar to what Nokia failed to do towards mid-2000s and lost it's leadership position...lost the base of more than half of Indian handset market.

This fuck-up from Blackberry's think tank hasn't happened with India alone...unfortunately, it is world over. Just to put things in perspective: Apple's latest offer - 5s & 5c have sold a record 9m handsets just on the opening weekend...whereas Blackberry managed to ship only 3.7m phones in the past three months.

With poor performance, quarter on quarter - with reported losses nearly touching $1 billion mark (just in one quarter) - it was only a matter of time that Blackberry would be sold. Questions being raised were - would the buyers be interested only in Blackberry's patents, the services - but not the hardware business. This speculation loomed and no one knew if Blackberry would continue to exist in the handset business. While this was being talked of - there came a shocker news: Microsoft decides to buy out Nokia's phone business. It was end of an era for King of handsets...which looked like the imminent fate for Blackberry - King of smartphones!

The question is - why does this bother me? As I mentioned earlier, I am not in favour of changing handsets - well, I am also not in favour of changing loyalties with brands that I get used to. It is a pain for me to pick a new gadget and figure out the basics. I am also a BIG fan of Blackberry's QWERTY keypad and find the entire service to be perfectly suited for my needs.

Not everything is gloomy and dead for Blackberry, not just yet at least. With Fairfax Financial buying out Blackberry (news came out yesterday) - with the idea to take the company out of public decision making, make it a privately held entity and then work on its rebuilding. So far - this news is encouraging for Blackberry loyalists like me. I have been rooting for Blackberry to survive, somehow...and today, it seems that it just might!

Sunday 15 September 2013

Can a man and a woman ever be friends - just friends?

I first came across this question when I saw When Harry Met Sally as a mature was an age when such questions meant a lot more than questions about life and were of deeper concern than something related to career. I don't clearly recall if I had an answer (in my mind) to this question at that time, but I do recall changing my stance on it over time.

If one is not a fence-sitter, there are just two possible views on this - either, they can be just friends or they can't be just friends. It's often easiest being on the fence and justifying that in various ways...bring in a basic question - how does one define friendship? With a varying understanding of concept of friendship - one could then say that in certain scenarios men & women can remain as just friends.

Why do we question the definition of friendship and draw scenarios, which are essentially nothing but subsets of friendship, when we have to answer this question and not when we are asked - "can two men be just friends?" or "can two women be just friends?". The fact such fence sitting happens, implies there is some basic doubt about a man & a woman being just friends...there is a general feeling they can't be just friends and there is a general need to be politically correct in this society. 

Once we dissect friendship and make smaller sections of it - we can obviously identify some sections of friendship in which the answer to the question is a definite 'yes' - where a platonic relationship between a man & a woman exists. But, in my mind - these are just smaller sections of relationships - which should at best lie somewhere between acquaintance and friendship.

Since I am not know to be a politically correct guy (most of the times), I would state my view on this - which I am sure is obvious by now...I don't think a man and a woman can ever be just friends. I don't buy the concept of platonic relationships...essentially, I don't believe that both, the man & the woman, are in a relationship purely on platonic does want more, whether that want is ever shared by the individual or even agreed in his / her own mind.

This small bit of wanting 'more' may at times be easy to suppress and lie about, it may even be thought of as insignificant and nothing more than a passing thought. The only point I am trying to make here is - if all 'just-friends' were to be honest, then in my view - at least one of the two (in all scenarios) will admit to have wanted more from the relationship, a.k.a friendship! If not, then I doubt if there was anything close to a real friendship to begin with.

Wednesday 11 September 2013

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same
I am not old enough to be considered an old fool
I am no longer young enough to be considered cool
I used to be at the centre, now younger players are in the game

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

I used to down beer without heeding to conscience's advice
Used to be ready to change course on roll of the dice
I know better now...I know no one but me would be to blame!

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

"I won't be home for dinner" - a call to mom would suffice
Go out with my girl friend, never visit the same place twice
Girl friend then...I married the dame

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

I didn't think and care about much
All that mattered was someone's warm touch
I still have that touch, have to reignite the flame

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

Looked forward to our bike rides, sandwich and coffee...moments spent together
A car now, expensive & exclusive dinners...for worse or better
Does it happen with everyone...does this condition have a name?

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

Believed impatience & hunger were signs of ambition
Took time to realise I needed more ingredients - learning & passion
Have to still learn longer blindly chasing fortune & fame

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

Only future was where my sight rested, past was over & gone
Today I learn from the prepare me to take future head-on
Enough wasted building castles in focussed on the end-game

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

They say "change is the only constant"...that could be the case
I have moved, I have grown, I have changed my level base
Experience taught me, helped me evolve my mind-frame

Things have changed around me...even I am not the same

I look at the world around me and read it differently
I soak in...let it absorb completely
This change...this development is one can otherwise claim!

Thursday 5 September 2013

Human Identity in Numbers & Passwords

A popular telecom company in India thought of using the changing definition of human identity to their advantage...they took it a step further...made it sound as an answer to all societal-ills...all that they proposed people do was shed their names and use their mobile numbers instead!

The fact that this idea seems to hit some sensible nerves still - means that we are definitely in an era where we already use numbers to identify ourselves - told to us as customer id / account number. Bear in mind - these numbers are neither common across platforms / services, nor are easy to memorise...they are a long series of digits (could go up to 16 digits), the entire combination selected at random...making it difficult for identity thieves to clone our identity and at the same time, making it almost impossible for us to remember our own identity.

Now to put things in actual perspective, for each of us, the identity crisis described above gets multiplied in real life by the number of service providers we deal with. 1 mobile number, 1 internet connection, 1 DTH cable connection, at least 2 bank accounts, 1 LPG connection, at least 2 credit cards, 1 home loan, 1 car loan...WHEW!!!

If this much effort wasn't enough to put doubts in our minds...are we really who we think we are...there is an added level to prove we really are who we think we are...a password! This, claim the service providers, is something we can choose ourselves...just that it has to be a minimum of 8 characters, should be alpha-numeric, have a special character included, but not some characters (which this service provider thinks less of and thus aren't special enough)...should be changed in a periodic manner...should not be anywhere close to our last three passwords.

Here comes the best tool to make the doubt grow a bit bigger...we only get a few attempts to prove our identity - to get the correct combination of account number and password. If, unfortunately, we don't get it right in the specified number of attempts to prove our the powers vested in the service provider, it is concluded that we are, indeed, not who we think we are...

It is not a surprise that the world's becoming more individual will bother about the society at large when the individual gets free from the tangles of managing his own multiple individualities!

Wednesday 4 September 2013

Pearls of Wisdom...or just smelly B.S.!

There is no dearth of so-called well-wishers sharing how they think we should do things, what should we do...if its high-time we took matters in our own hands...if the time has come to just stop and take stock of our life. To make matters worse, this sort of advice is followed by a hollow reassurance..."I am doing / have done so myself!". 

Since there is just a fine line between gyaan and times, both, the speaker and the listener miss when one starts to merge into the other. Given that neither gyaan nor BS is convincing without a bit of truth hidden in it, thus, the key lies in speaker's influence over his audience. If the listener, generally, believes in the speaker - there are greater chances for speaker's words to be accepted (even if not acted up on).

The biggest threat such people pose is getting unnecessary thoughts and fears in our mind. Once a seed is planted, despite all our best efforts, it takes longer than normal to not allow the seed to grow into anything bigger - eventually our own BS filters wake up and smell the s**t.

It is important to make note of the side, which the speaker usually tilts it more towards gyaan or towards BS. This will help in knowing the people around us better, which will further help us understand ourselves better. If anyone keeps & enjoys company of a person who usually faffs and throws about more than averagely acceptable BS - then there is a serious need to question the company of this person.

I am often told that in friendship one should overlook many a shortcomings, be more than willing to accept the friend as he / she is and mostly focus on the positives of friends. I consider these to be irrefutable facts about friendship...just that I have a simple question: if a person is more BS than substance, why be friends with this person? Such people could never possibly bring you any good...motivate you truly, as their words are rarely backed by their own actions.

In my opinion, life is better with few friends - who are true to themselves, true to you...than a bunch of people around you who you know are just using big words and long sentences to sound deep!

Tuesday 3 September 2013

Books v/s E-books & Bookstores v/s E-bookstores

It is not about the era that we grew up is not even about whether computers were there back in the day or not...most of the kindle / other e-book readers today are of a generation that has definitely grown up with books and have had initial difficulty in reading on digital medium. Personal choices and preferences change on the times due to convenience, at times simply because alternatives present now are better than before...or that the things we used in past no longer exist now, thus changing our choices.

Though I have personally moved from how I used to buy and listen to music...but, when it comes to books, I just can't seem to move away from books and bookstores. The old charm of a book still runs strong in my veins because how my childhood was influenced by dad's extensive collection of books and comics. I have grown up seeing extra luggage being packed just for dad's books - every time he got transferred. As a kid I used to be fascinated with books in dad's collection that were older than me...each of his books had a time stamp on them...his signature with the date when he bought it. Actually, some of these 'older-than-me' books still survive...they continue to amaze me. Can anything that's stored in digital format bring out similar nostalgia?

I prefer everything in physical version than the digital version...whether it is purchasing books or reading them. I still lose track of time in a book store, even if I didn't enter looking for anything in particular...even if I come out empty handed. There is something about buying books in a store that makes the entire experience worthwhile for me...the smell of new books...the feel of crispness of paper...the weight of a book in my hand...the bending & stretching to reach for books...spending time in a book store has never been a challenge for me. I can't say the same about online bookstores, where I rather tend to get bored.

Buying a book for me is not a quick process...having moved away from purchasing general fiction, I no longer buy books based on any popular author as the only motivation. I need to look at many books, see if there is something that attracts me about the book...some of it happens to be visual appeal along with what the book's about. It is almost like purchasing something personal...the book will leave a mark on me...I will build theories and opinions based on what I read and I need to be sure of the book before I allow it to have such an influence on me. I can manage this kind of a bond can only in the physical world, not in the digital one!

When I say I prefer the physical books over e-books, I don't claim to have never read a book on Kindle, nor that I didn't enjoy reading on Kindle. On the contrary, I actually found reading to be more convenient - with back light, I didn't need to switch on a light at night...I didn't need a bookmark. Moreover, it allows me to carry all my books with me...I don't even need a book cabinet anymore. BUT, the question for me is: am I looking for these benefits? The short and simple of it is...I don't think I do! I like using bookmarks...I like reading in well lit rooms...I like to flip through pages, instead of pressing buttons...I like to have a book on my bed-side table...I also like to display books in my already over flowing book cabinet.

Saturday 31 August 2013

Nehru Park, New Delhi - Perfect Venue for Live Musical Performances

One aspect I like a lot about Delhi is that it has been hosting a variety of live musical performances. This has definitely brought some shape to an otherwise fading culture of the city. I am writing about one venue in particular...not because of its own attractions alone, but also because of the vast variety of musical performances it hosts - Nehru Park!

Delhi's Nehru Park has been a welcoming venue for Pandits & Ustads of Indian classical music, the second generation / up-coming classical musicians, a 3-day international Jazz festival and a 3-day pan-India Bhakti Sangeet Utsav. The most interesting thing is - neither these performances are ticketed nor are they limited by 'entry by invitation only' crap, all are invited...all are equally welcomed. 

'Music in the Park' is the name given to Indian classical musical performances. These are early morning or evening performances...normally scheduled between October to March (keeping the weather in mind). In last few years, I have been lucky to see & listen to some of the greats of Indian classical music, some who are sadly no longer among us and no one can see them perform live anymore! I am not naming anyone here because in order to name all - I will take a lot of space and naming just a few won't do justice to the ones I don't mention. I credit MITP for turning me into a fan of Indian classical music.

Delhi already had an upmarket Jazz Yatra. A three day long festival, it is organized at expensive auditoriums, demands an equally expensive ticket price...but does invite some of world's recognized Jazz artists. The fact that it is Jazz, the fact that it is expensive to attend...meant this was almost an event for the elite of Delhi. This suddenly changed with Delhi Jazz Festival coming up at Nehru Park in 2011. This festival offers Jazz to all its fans and treats all as offers fans, music of not so well known international and Indian Jazz offers these groups, an honest audience that is there for the love of music!

The biggest surprise for me has been my interest in Bhakti Sangeet Utsav...I thought breaking barrier in my mind for Indian classical music was a victory in itself...but, live musical performances at Nehru Park broke down yet another barrier for me. Artists who perform at this festival, invited from various parts of India, are masters in bhakti the term suggests, music for the Gods! The effect of sitting there, listening to bhakti sangeet, is almost trance-like...irrespective of language and even style of music.

Nehru Park plays an ideal setting for live musical performances...tranquil surroundings...a vast garden, greenery all around offering fresh air...a venue that's centrally located...a venue large enough to host thousands (and thousands do come). I think there is no music lover in Delhi who does not make it a point to attend as many of these performances as possible. Every time I have attended a musical performance there...the combination of atmosphere and music have taken me on a flight...where both, the journey and destination, have been equally exhilarating, fulfilling and all-consuming.

Friday 30 August 2013

Why Do I Write?

I have been asked this question in few different ways, by few different people...this has made me take the base question seriously - "why do I write?". The instinctive reaction I have is that I write for myself...but it is not that I write for me to read. It is neither a platform for me to only vent and cool-off nor a 'dear diary' per say. There is a definite joy I get by writing...but there is something more than just joy, which makes me write!

There are a couple of incidents from recent past that probably will help explain why I write. I was talking to a friend (please keep in mind I do not use the term 'friend' lightly / loosely) and he made the following comment about me: "normal people can't understand you easily"...I would like to take his words as "normal people can't accept and like you easily". Second - a friend saw my blog and commented - "I like the way each blog post of yours gives insight to who you are.. Who you were who you are becoming." I think these two statements about me, truly describe why I write.

Essentially, I believe I am a complex being - I do like to turn simple things into over-complex scenarios - I do like to over-think on issues and I do have an opinion on things that concern me.

Despite being an extrovert, I do not share much about me. Despite enjoying company of friends, I do not enjoy large groups. Since I don't share much easily - I feel there is a lot about me that many around me don't know, let alone understand. In essence, I write for myself - partly for the joy I get from writing and partly to share some parts of my thoughts with others. Also, because I can't sing / dance / express, thus I write! 

Almost like the caveman in the cartoon above, I write to leave my mark behind - something that's the true writing is an extension of me...for those who would simply don't matter!